Who would your favourite Christmas movie characters vote for in the general election?

As the Christmas season rapidly approaches families in the UK cosy by the fire with snacks in hand to watch their favourite Christmas films once again; perhaps to revisit their favourite characters, perhaps to be reminded that there is good in this world, or perhaps just for 90 minutes to take their minds of real world events - by which I mean politics. Unfortunately, the Christmas season this year has been somewhat delayed with the unfortunate event that is a general election. A general election pops up every four years or so, and the British public are given a choice of inept tossers to choose who they think should run the country. Ah, democracy - isn’t it great? Much like having a £50 punt on a horse race where all the horses have three legs, the nation is completely divided in who they should give their all important vote to. As popular satire shows or every 20 year old spamming Facebook will have you believe, voting Conservative is wrong. But much like the aliens in John Carpenter’s The Thing, conservative voters are everywhere - sometimes even hiding in plain sight. Even in some of our favourite Christmas movies!

Sure. Some conservatives will stand out a mile. Take Frank Cross from Scrooged, portrayed by Bill Murray. He’s cynical, selfish and values money above all else. It’s no surprise that he’s voting conservative, and proudly, I might add. Even at the end of the film, where he’s decided to ‘put a little love in his heart’, I like to believe that he still very much plans to vote conservative. But, I did mention that there will be conservative voters hidden amongst us. Even people we love. Take the McCallisters. Who, you may be saying. Well, I’m sure you remember Kevin McCallister from the 1990 blockbuster Home Alone. His parents leave him (you guessed it!) Home Alone, to fend off a couple of piss-poor burglars. At the start of the film fifteen McCallisters gather round to eat $120 worth of pizza (no Dominos code needed for the McCallisters), before they embark on a family trip to Paris, no less, in peak season! Sure, of the fifteen McCallisters, only six of them can legally vote but believe you me, all six of them are voting Conservative.

So if they’re voting Conservative, who’s voting Labour, I hear you ask. Well the obvious choices have to be George Bailey and Clark Griswold, from It’s a Wonderful Life and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, respectively.

I know what you’re thinking. Isn’t George Bailey a banker - surely he’s voting Conservative? Now, hold your three-legged horse one moment. George sacrifices his dreams in order to help his community, so much so that he feels life has passed him by altogether. Not only is George Bailey voting Labour, but he’s the type who’s putting loads of shitty flyers through your door advising you to do the same. Clark Griswold just wants his damn bonus cheque, and if voting labour is going to stick it to his boss, then so be it.

Marty McFly of Back to the Future is far too indecisive to be choosing between Labour and Conservatives. Technically he’s only 17 - despite being played by a 23 year old Michael J Fox - but you best believe, next year he’s voting for the Liberal Democrats. As are, I believe, the four main characters of The Holiday. They all believe in a fair and democratic parliament but all just have a bit too much hard-earned dosh to put their trust completely into a Labour government.

John McClane, from Die Hard, was undecided between voting for Labour or Lib Dem until that fateful Christmas Eve in 1988. Now he’s voting for the Brexit party as he wants to see the back of those German, Russian, English… whatever the fuck Hans Gruber was. And you know who else is voting for the Brexit Party… Willie T. Soke, who you probably know better as Bad Santa. He’s definitely voting for the Brexit Party. Why? Because, fuck you, that’s why.

As for Buddy from Elf, and The Grinch… well they’re voting for the Green Party (apologies). Much like Dorothy Gale from A Wizard of Oz, we've spun into an unusual situation where we've been told we have to side with either a man with no brain, a man with no heart or a bunch of parties with no courage. We all rush to the ballot boxes to cast our votes in fear that if the party we don't side with get into power our 'Home, Sweet Home' won't be so sweet anymore. Unfortunately, I don't think that this will end like A Wizard of Oz, where we wake up to discover that the last five years of politics have all been a hellish nightmare - but, regardless of the outcome of the general election, I think we'll be alright. And if not, well, there's tons of great Christmas movies to put on to take your mind off politics!